BAYFIELD, WI—After approximately seventeen seconds of focusing on this article, local student Jud Oliption, found himself unable to make it to the next sentence.

“Yeah, after the word ‘found’ it was really impossible for me not to pay attention to the bright colors on the Earthworks banner. Are you in Earthworks?”

Jud’s friends said that it was impossible to notice his ADD, except for the few times when he started doing jumping jacks at lunch just to relieve his boredom.

The next article, by the way, is very good and entertaining, so I suggest that if you too have made it this far, that you move on to the next one.

+ posts
You May Also Like

Lady Turns 110, Family Celebrates Year She Doesn’t Remotely Remember

Margaret Chainsmoker turned an astounding “110 years young” as her great, great…

Success of New Hampshire Primary Leads to Scheduling of Secondary and Tertiary

Melvin Schwarzengoggle After the media coverage of New Hampshire’s primary, state officials…

Desperate Couple Resorts to Candy Conversation

By Joey Roberts After several weeks of dating, an anonymous couple had…

Investigation of Student Council Yields SHOCKING Results

By this point, I’m pretty sure everyone north of Chicago knows that…