Seniors Swear This Was the Best Pep Rally Ever

By all senior accounts, this pep rally was sick. Unlike any pep rallies of the past, this year the seniors all had whistles, which really changed everything. Amplified by the awesomeness of being right after school, the seniors showed incredible unity by all wearing the same color: black, the color of mourning. According to Senior spirit leader Kevin Dann, “This was clearly the best pep rally in the history of pep rallies because the seniors won the scream off. We were so much louder. We just had so much experience.”

The cheers this year were also through the roof. Ingenious, wholly original chants like “Freshman Bedtime” and “Our aggregate GPA is higher than your mean ratio GPA” were just disgusting according to senior Bari Freed. However, Bari was really hurt when the juniors completely unnecessarily chanted, “go to college.” Bari wanted to reiterate that college is not the only option after high school. There is always the Special Forces, the work force, mom’s basement or Oakton. Alas, this years pep rally is surely never to be forgotten. Well, at least not by some people.