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Warehouse Parties Make Barney Look Boring

On a Friday night in the middle of suburbia, look no further than an abandoned warehouse. There, you can dance and party the night away with a bunch of strangers, having the time of your life and owing it all to you. However, there is a catch: all partygoers must be under the age of 7.
Toddlers from Sleepy Time Day Care to Baby Animals Elementary have all gained access to what some have dubbed the coolest lay-date of the year. Thrown by area Big Kids, it costs and entire week’s lunch money to gain entrance to the party. Once inside, children are met with a well-decorated warehouse: Big Kids make sure to get matching plates and napkins in order to ensure the happiness of their guests. The kids are then free to listen to The Wiggles and chicken dance all of their troubles away. The parties have become so successful that some children have been turned away, forced to go to the obviously less fun and inferior Chuck E. Cheese.
“I like these parties!” said 3-year-old Katie Packer. “My goal every week is to play paddy cake with as many different people as I can! I love paddy cake! I also love fudge and rainbows and chickens. I want to be an astronaut when I grow up!”
However, it is not always fun and games at these parties. Last week, the shenanigans were forced to end early when Sally Jenkin’s mean babysitter caught the kids eating paste. Lucky for Sally, Big Kids felt bad about her mother’s inability to pick a decent babysitter (come on, Julie!) and have decided to throw another party to “redeem” themselves. Entrance to the party requires a juice box in advance, or partygoers can pay with a baggie of cookies at the door. Preliminary plans show it to be the best night yet, with a clown theme, a ball pit, and free chocolate milk given to all who attend.
Katie especially loves one thing about the parties. “My favorite thing about the parties is that it makes me feel like I am a big kid, too! I wish I were 10 years old like my big sister!” Katie’s interview had to be cut short, however, when her mommy arrived and announced that it was now 7:30 and time for bed.

October 10, 2011

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