^Some shirts that don’t scream, “I’m dumb!”
By George Minkowski
DEERFIELD, IL — Every year on the last day of Homecoming Spirit Week, the seniors come to school dressed in all black. “All black” seldom means “all black.” The seniors really have a variety of wardrobe options. They can wear the official senior t-shirt. They can make a shirt just between their friends (a popular option for those who like others to know they have friends). Another option is the underground t-shirt. Each individual’s choice is incredibly telling of his or her character. This year, those who chose to wear the underground t-shirt revealed they are not smart.
The shirt, which features little more than a reference to a brand of vodka and some cursive writing, has no joke on it at all. No pun, nothing subtly funny, not a drop of creativity or sign of any forethought. So why would somebody choose to pay for the shirt and wear it? Why would they don an inappropriate and potentially disrespectful garment in front of their peers and teachers in school? For the lulz, of course.
“When I heard the underground shirt was not appropriate for school, I was like, ‘I’ll take 10!’” senior Joseph Miller
told Flipside reporters. “When I saw it, I didn’t get the joke, but I don’t get a lot of things, so I wore it.” Miller was told upon his entrance to school to turn his shirt inside out.
“Seniors! Seniors!” he added, slapping his lax bros five.
Usually, the underground t-shirt is not so blatantly stupid. Initially, that did not seem to be the case this year. Via Facebook, dozens of potential t-shirt designs were pitched, several of them not being stupid. However, one individual decided his stupid idea was the least stupid, and paid several thousand dollars to have his shirt printed. As a result, the senior class was faced with a decision: to be (stupid) or not to be (stupid, give in to peer-pressure, and jeopardize one’s relationships with teachers).
200 t-shirts were printed, and as of today, 32 remain. The shirts go for only $10, a great price considering usually
being stupid is usually much more expensive. The shirts are not expected to sell out seeing that those who have waited until now to buy one of the shirts have exhibited patience and thoughtfulness, making them poor candidates to make such decisions.