Local Teen Forced to Explain the Various Bases to Parents

By George Minkowski DEERFIELD– After becoming fed up with not understanding the…

Student Loses Handbook, Can’t Remember To Buy A New One

By Buford Stetson DEERFIELD, IL – Local Freshman John Morris lives a…

Toyota Debuts Aggressive New Ads

Orthodontists Without Borders Dispatched to Great Britain

Jesus, Car Keys Found at Church Retreat

Theme of Communist Party to be “Potluck”

Drill Team Choreographs New Routine… Just Kidding!

Wildly Popular “Perspectives” Class Cut to Make Room for Six More Mini-Laptops

By George Minkowski and Buford Stetson Offered to Sophomores, the combined English/Social…

Area Student Purposefully Contracts Tuberculosis, Nails College Admissions Essay

By Giles Henderson NORTHBROOK, IL – It’s not uncommon for teens to…

James Cameron Admits Avatar is “Largely Fictional”

By Jeremy Hoodaman In a shocking press conference held yesterday, James Cameron…

All-Nighter Spent on Facebook

By George Minkowski DEERFIELD— In a last ditch attempt to catch up…