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Area Student Purposefully Contracts Tuberculosis, Nails College Admissions Essay

By Giles Henderson
NORTHBROOK, IL – It’s not uncommon for teens to dedicate large amounts of their time to stay competitive in the college admissions process. One local girl was willing to take matters a step further to ensure that she got into college.
After reading several college applications, Glenbrook North Junior Sara Hughes devised a perfect plan. Said Hughes, “Well I read somewhere that there’s a place on the college application were you can basically write an excuse. So like, if your grades were terrible Junior year but you had to balance a job to support your family you could write that down. I knew that my grades were going to be horrible this year because my classes are like, really hard, so I knew I had to come up with a good excuse.”
Hughes then devised a plan to contract a potentially deadly disease so that she wouldn’t have to accept responsibility for her downward trend in grades. Her plan really took form when she looked at the essay portion of the applications. “All of the questions reference, like, some important time in your life or something. Or like a learning experience. And that’s when I settled on tuberculosis. It’s perfect! I had to be quarantined, for like, 5 months. And I mean what better time for personal growth than in quarantine!?”
Hughes was accepted to the University of Wisconsin last Wednesday, but her potential attendance is still unknown. Apparently, tuberculosis can kill you. I, for one, thought they tested for it because the vaccination makes your skin turn pretty colors. Hughes hopes to join her friends at the University of Wisconsin as soon as she is released from the hospital.
Still Hughes doesn’t regret her potentially deadly decision. After all, if she hadn’t gotten in to University of Wisconsin, she probably

March 7, 2010

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