Janitor Hates The Flipside

DEERFIELD, IL— The Flipside prides itself on bringing you the latest news every week, however, not everyone in the DHS community appreciates The Flipside as much as you do.

Rob Lowe, a support staffer here at Deerfield High School for 14 years is one of these haters. “It’s tough work. Especially because I clean up the same messes over and over again,” Lowe tells us. “Every Wednesday I clean up pasta, every winter I clean up tissues, but the one mess I can’t stand anymore is cleaning up The Flipside Thursday after Thursday.”

In a recent Earthworks study, it is said that only 4% of the weekly 1000 copies of The Flipside Digest are read, and only 3% of all of the papers find their way into a proper trash reciprocal.

What happens to the crumpled up Flipsides with the jumble and Sudoku half done? Rob Lowe cleans them up.

“Every Thursday after school I know the fate that awaits me— The Flipside. I don’t even know why they print so many if nobody even reads them. Seriously, The Flipside is a bigger waste of paper than the hundreds of signs in the library telling you not to waste paper.”

Lowe says that he had the displeasure of reading an edition of The Flipside one time. “I’m not sure if it was supposed to be funny or what. I just… I just hate it, okay?”

So with respect to Rob Lowe and all of the maintenance staff here at DHS, The Flipside would like to issue this public service announcement:

Attention Flipside readers, when you are done with this issue of The Flipside, please properly dispose of it because if you don’t… nothing will really happen but you know what I’m saying.
K Thanx,
The Flipside

January 23, 2009

Share This Post