MENSA announces “MENSA Charity Drive: Raising Awareness for How Smart We Are” After Recent Decline in Membership

By Captain_Underscore

MENSA, Tennessee-At a recent MENSA Board of Directors Meeting, spokesperson Norman Scharzkopf announced that MENSA would be holding a charity drive for itself, in order to increase revenue after increased limitations on membership entrance.

“Time has not boded well for MENSA,” said Scharzkopf, “for many centuries we had been the most prominent league of geniuses. However, with recent hits to the economy, we’ve been forced to make increased cuts on our spending, which has meant a decrease in field trips and catering. In order to bring MENSA back into prominence, we will be holding a charity drive to remind people that ‘We’re still here, and we’re still smart’.”

This announcement didn’t come as a surprise to the members of MENSA.

“We always knew we were smart, but we figured that some of the dumber people around us may have forgotten.”

While the charity drive itself hasn’t stirred up much controversy, the slogan being used for the charity drive is forcing millions of above average people out onto the sidewalks in protest.

“So what if they’re smart,” shouted one protestor, “we all really know what’s behind this charity drive. They just don’t know how to throw a bake sale, and are just trying to cover it up.”

But Schwarzkopf’s has one thing to say for those denouncers, “as much as we are about fairness and equality in MENSA, it just so happens that very few people’s intellect are equal to our own.”

Whether or not the drive succeeds remains to be seen.

December 1, 2008

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