I am just doing it for my résumé,
I need to get into college and this is the only way.
I’ll take any class that inflates my GPA,
Saving kids in Africa, I can’t wait to put that in an essay.
It does not matter that I do not really know what the club is,
All that matters is that someone looking at my résumé will say “Gee-whiz.”
I could care less about how I do on any quiz,
Because with all those things on my résumé I’m definitely in biz.
Now my college interview comes,
I’m going to make all those ten extra-curricular kids look like bums.
The man says it’s impressive I play the drums,
I say that that is not all I do, chums.
Then he responds and asks me to explain what I do,
I quickly start to turn blue.
Is he picking on me because I am a Jew?
He adds, “You do so much, it’s almost too good to be true.”
As I stutter to give him a valid explanation,
I get this sudden sensation.
My state of elation was replaced by frustration,
My entire résumé was just one big decoration.