By Satchel Cornspeaker

DEERFIELD, IL- We all thought that those student council guys were good people. But just yesterday they proved us all wrong.

President of the Student Council Emailing Committee, David Zwick, recently confessed that the only reason anyone does Student Council is for the free breakfast.

When we asked young Rob Canter why he did student council his response just backed up the long suspected truth. “You have no idea how good those pancakes are.”

A rumor was that the student council members were able to work harder on a full stomach. Any confirmations of that report are yet to be found.

So if you see any of them in the hallways roaming the corridor smelling extra like syrup just look at them and say, “We figured it out. Everyone knows you’re only in it for the free food.”

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