Mother Still Brags About “Cute” Bar Mitzvah Theme

HIGHLAND PARK- Mother of two from Highland Park, Illinois, Edith Rosensteinbergbaum is still bragging about her son’s cute bar mitzvah theme.

This comment would not seem to outrage many people, had it not been that she is sixty-five years old and her son, Abe Rosensteinbergbaum is currently forty-one years of age.

When recently interviewed by The Flipside, Edith claimed, “Oh, I can’t help it. It’s just so cute!”

What was the theme, we asked. “Well, he was always a big fan of safari and other wild animals. He had pictures of lions, gnats, armadillos, giraffes, and of course, the wallaby, all hanging in his room. So at the party, each table was a different animal. Isn’t that adorable!” she clamored.

Yes, Edith. Yes.

How has this affected her son, Abe’s life? Well, Abe is currently paying off his student loans and living in a trailer eating Lucky Charms® out of the box (with skim milk). He spends most of his time in a biker-bar in southwest New Mexico. So, to be honest, it hasn’t affected him whatsoever.

This claim by his mother though, has allowed him to keep his status quo of the town, maintaining homeostasis throughout his long-lasting and insightful career as a mere man of business.

Sal Holds

November 28, 2008

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