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New DARE Study: Drugs Are Very, VERY Bad
In a brand-new study conducted earlier this week by anti-drug program D.A.R.E., drugs and alcohol, which have been deemed as “bad” by the program since its inception, have been elevated…
Apprentice Janitor at Zoo Remarkably Still Has Faith in Jesus
Dennis Colby, the man who won’t give up By Diego Goldfarb Salt Lake City, UTAH—Dennis Colby, 44, who was just hired as an apprentice janitor at Hogle Zoo has inspired…
Child Labor is A-OK
By Cool Ted What’s up America? Teddy here, with the usual scoop. Alright, so we all know that the economy bites the big one. But how can our nation solve…
New FOX Show “American Immigrant” to Cross Boundaries
By Curry Gagarin LOS ANGELES—With the success that American Idol has brought to the Fox Network, Fox has recently announced that, in alliance with the GOP, it will be producing…
Man Who Also Has Name Chuck Norris Getting Inflated Ego
By Timpani Timmy AKRON, OH—A local plumber’s assistant and devout “lifter” who happens to share the name Chuck Norris with the infamous booty-kicker and movie star is taking advantage of…
Well Meaning Substitute Gym Teacher Fails to Impress
By Ren Ixley Substitue Teacher Chuck JonesWith whistle and clipboard in hand, first-time substitute P.E. teacher Chuck Jones showed up to the Exhibition Gym with a mission. “I’m going to…
MOVIES: Why couldn’t “Munich” be more about the Olympics?
By Bosco Cheyenne No wonder the holiday-season movies underperformed! I walked into the new Steven Spielberg film “Munich” expecting a “Miracle”-like feel good romp about Olympic athletes overcoming the adversity…
French Prime Minister Tells Rioters To “Please Stop”, Riots Cease Because Of Politeness
BY U. V. Ells Paris, France-After nearly two months of civil unrest and commotion in France, the riots that have plagued the country and its surrounding city-states have come to…
You Can’t Censor Me, I’ll Censor Myself
BY W. PERRY CRENSHAW I’ve had enough, I’m getting fogging tired of the FCC or should I say “Freaking Coward Commission”. That’s right, I said it. Everyone farkin telling me…