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Ke$ha’s Parents Proud of Her

Tourist Haggles Street Vendor’s Child Out of College Education

Area Man Reads Over Long Word Because “It’s Probably Not Important”

Angry Birds Destroy Homes

By Jeremy Hoodaman DECATUR, MI — De­catur police responded to an emergency call Wednesday morning after large birds smashed into several houses on Wil­low Street. There were no reports of…

Guess What? I Just Found A Piece of Cheese In My Beard!

By Quinn Price And fine swiss cheese, no less! What a treat for the both of us! I’ll brush off the mold from right there… Oh, and look at all…

Obama Steps Down As President To Spend More Time Googling Himself

Teen With One Headphone In Ear Cares About Exactly Half of What You’re Saying

Ethics Ignored in School’s Plan to End Illegal Parking

By Gunther Hausman There is no denying that there is an epidemic at Deerfield High School. It’s not just senioritis and swine flu is under control (for now). There is…

New App Allows You to Monitor Friends’ Blood Sugar

By Jacque Jomby In desperate attempt to live up to their commercial-quality-slogan, “There’s an app for that,” Apple announced it will release a new application that allows you to monitor…

Moment of Silence Gives Students Daily Opportunity to be Terrified of Farting

BJ Raji Gets Excessive Celebration Call for Eating Caleb Hanie

Turd Doesn’t Fit in StageWrite Submission Box, Bully Reports