Kids With Clipboards and Lab Coats Reveal Groundbreaking Discovery about Preventing Swine Flu, Cooties

By George Minkowski Tuesday morning during homeroom, a totally legitimate research facility…

Local Teen Spends $130 on Tennis Shoes that Looks Like They Should Cost $10.99

Freshman Thinks It’s Funny to Tear Down Streamers. “Let’s See if He Thinks It’s Funny to Be Beat Up,” Says Annoyed Hall Decorator

Man Finally Confesses to Letting the Dogs Out, Recieves 40-Life

School Congratulates Everyone on Being “Blue Ribbon” Except for Area Loser

By George Minkowski DEERFIELD— As we all know, Deerfield High School was…

Ask Mr. Motzko

Dear Mr. Motzko, In my science class, I was recently asked what…

A Plea to Mr. Gore

Al Gore: Whoever is watching us from above must really have it…

New Study Links Poor Diet and Exercise with Obesity

By George Minkowski CLEVELAND CLINIC— It’s common knowledge that obesity is never…

Really Cool Hipster Talks About: Parties

Parties aren’t easy. For some, the schmoozing and socializing comes naturally, but…

Unsolvable Sudoku Destroys Nation

By Jeremy Hoodaman In one of the largest blunders in recent history,…

Freshman Lost Looking for Z Hall

Chorus Concerts Now Auto-Tuned