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Kim Kardashian Gets Divorced, Nobody Surprised Except Husband

New Call of Duty Game Best Thing Since Sliced Bread

By Harrison Johnson and Brenda Mandarino DEERFIELD, IL–Chances are, most of you reading this article immediately noticed the phrase “Call of Duty” and decided it was worth reading. It is.…

Hula Hoop Tragedy Leaves Twelve Injured

Obesity Rates Continue to Rise, Big Macs Still Taste Just as Good

Student’s Vocabulary Gets Worse After Her “Synonyms” Tab Stops Working

Gender Tensions Rise at The Flipside After Schoolwide Vandalism Incident

Last Thursday, a shockingly high number of defaced Flipsides were found throughout the halls of DHS. Several boys have been spotted picking up a Flipside and immediately tearing it to…

Student Writes College Essay About Something Other Than Camp

Driver Can’t Figure Out Why Other Driver Has Tinted Windows on Car

New Community Service Club to Come to DHS

As the pressure sets in for upperclassmen to get into their dream schools (or any school at all), junior Marty Parker suddenly realized that Deerfield was desperately in need of…

Senior Discovers New Way To Succeed, Calls It “Studying”

­By Trixie Dewdrop Deerfield High School senior Edwin Rush made a remarkable discovery last week when he discovered a new strategy to get good grades. He calls it “study­ing.” “I…

Miserable Couple Determined To Make It Through Prom

By Buford Stetson Despite its reputation as a care­free year, seniors have plenty to worry about. Between college ap­plications and last goodbyes, there are plenty of things for the soon-graduating…

Marijuana Illegalized in Zimbabwe, Hunger Issue Resolved

By Burford Stetson IDIJAMAMA, ZIMBABWE – Just last week, Zimbabwean government passed a legislative act outlawing “the possession, use, and/or distribution of marijuana and/or marijuana products.” This landmark new law…

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