Article by David Meyer
With summer just around the corner, students everywhere are trying to one-up each other in their summer plans. Our correspondent Notareal Person caught up with the latest brags about summer.
WHAT THEY SAY
I’m going to stay home with friends and just hang out.
WHAT THEY MEAN
I’m going to sleep until 3 PM each day and then watch Netflix until 5 AM, when I’ll go to bed and repeat the process until my eyes bleed tears of shameful joy.
WHAT THEY SAY
I’ve got a summer job so I’ll be making a lot of money and spend my time relaxing .
WHAT THEY MEAN
I’m going to make minimum wage for a few hours a day and then I’ll probably blow it all by the end of the summer, spending it on Chipotle and Starbucks. That “relaxing” will be spent watching Netflix (shocking, right?).
WHAT THEY SAY
I’m going on some trips with my family.
WHAT THEY MEAN
I’m going to complain about my family while vacationing in some really exotic place that other people would love to go to.
WHAT THEY SAY
I’m going to a ton of awesome concerts, like, basically one a week-ish.
WHAT THEY MEAN
I’m going to Lollapalooza and maybe a small show at Ravinia.
WHAT THEY SAY
I’m going to be proactive and get really ahead on my AP English summer work.
WHAT THEY MEAN
I’m going to be proactive and get really ahead on my AP English summer work.
WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENS
“I thought it was due on the sixth?!”
“Yes, it was.”
“Then, I don’t see the problem…?”
“Today is the seventh.”
