Yeah the new school entrances are awesome, but could they be awesome-er than they already are? The Flipside set out to interview students and teachers about what proposals they would have made instead. Below, we’ve scored some of the best for you.
“I think the enternaces were a great idea. These security entrances must make things more safer. I mean, it has security in the name so it had got to be more safe. But we need to step it up more. We need more security entrances because the more, the safer. I’d say we need at least 10 new enterances. That way, we’d be extra-super sucrure all of the time.”
Rating: 3/5 Stars
“I thought our money should do something totally rad. Like, how about a slip’n slide entrance. Bro, how righteous would that be? You could be like, all mopey from going to school but then you come in and see the slide. Then whoosh, you feel that awesome rush. I might actually consider going to school then!
Rating: 20 Security Guard Tims
“What’s the point of new entrances if what we’re trying ot keep out is already in? I’m talking about the aliens dude! They are here right now. Every wonder it’s called School Chest? It’s so they can harvest our organs! Wonder why we don’t have a U hall but everyone says it exists? That’s their UFO and it is just cloaked with their special technology. Wondering why Mr. Hurtig isn’t here? It’s not because he is part of some foreign exchange shenanigans, I can tell you that much. Wake up sheeple.”
Rating: A wasted roll of tinfoil
“So all of a sudden the children’s needs are ahead of mine? All these security entrances mean is that I am not getting my new dissecting equipment. How else am I supposed to properly cut open organisms to better study and harvest them? I implore the board to rethink how the money is being spent so that I can harv- I mean so I can better teach these wonderful young homo sapiens how to properly do science.”
Rating: 2 black market kidneys
“I think that we should have contracted the new enterances out to Sodexo. You know Sodexo, right? They do the cafeteria food and stuff, and if you ask me, they do a great job. We should contract everything out to them actually, including but not limited to: enterances, windows, lighting, maitinance, classroom instruction, college counselling, financial planning, and student discipline. Sodexo will have its way with us eventually.”
Rating: 36 fluid ounces of Faygo