By Nicki Chamberlain-Simon
Maybe the Apocalypse is Coming a Little Sooner Than We Expected
If SOPA passes, we are all going to die. Like literally, die. It is quite possibly the worst thing that has happened to our country in centuries and I refuse to stop posting/tweeting/complaining like I actually understand politics/talking about it until the government starts listening to me. Or anyone else, for that matter.
For those unfamiliar with SOPA and who have not been on Wikipedia or Google…or Facebook…or Twitter…or been conscious for the past week, it is the government’s way of saying, “Well, we can’t do anything about the recession so we might as well do something else to pass the time.” And don’t forget about PIPA, SOPA’s less known but cuter sister, that was created just because we want to show Pippa Middleton how much we wish we could be her.
But either way, it’s gaining momentum, and the end is near. If SOPA passes, the internet will start becoming a giant black hole of censorship. Before we know it, freedom of speech will cease to exist. And finally, all human happiness will be stomped out because we all know that a world without torrenting and pirated Youtube videos is a dark and lonely world. That will leave us crying in corners wondering why we didn’t email our Congress representatives when Wikipedia told us to. If you haven’t learned that Wikipedia is always right yet, you probably never will.
So who cares about December 21st? What we should really be worrying about is the government passing SOPA. In fact, it’s probably going to get here before we know it.
And if it does, who knows how everything is going to work out with a government that thinks that removing all pirated information is going to be fine. Just because the government is “representing the people,” it does not mean it is our friend. Chupacabras do exist.
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