By Emma Soren

Finals Are So Stressfullll

By Alice Sharpe, Type A Freshman

My first high school finals are coming up and I’m totally freaking out! These tests will determine my whole life—literally. My final scores decide what grade I get in my first semester of high school, which determines my GPA, which affects what college I go to and then what job I get and how much money I make and if I can find the perfect husband. So, yes, if you ask me, finals are a HUGE deal. How else am I supposed to handle my three adopted children from Africa and adorable twins without a spouse that I met at an Ivy League university? Brad Pitts are not just falling from the sky, people.

So that I don’t slack off, I make sure to check the IC app on my phone at least five times an hour just in case a teacher posts something. Last week I made my older brother show me how to calculate my semester grade, so I know exactly what grades I need to score on these tests. Since I don’t have a free period, I make sure to re-calculate my grades every off-lab in order to prioritize classes for studying. Spanish will be the toughest: I actually have to rely on natural talent to ace my speaking final and my Quizlet is down…

But I think I can do it. I designed a study schedule over winter break to organize my studying. It took the entire two weeks to create, but it will be totally helpful when I do start studying.

Right now I am in the process of taking all of my stuff home so that I can start studying. True story: my backpack was so heavy it set off the passenger fasten seat belt alarm while I was trying to get some sleep in the backseat when my mom picked me up from school. But who needs sleep when these grades are so important? Right now my hand’s cramping up, but these totally safe 5-Hour Energy drinks are helping me pull an all-nighter to get this article in for deadline. Wish me luck!


Finals Are Lax, Bro

By Brody Macabro, Type B Senior

My last high school finals are coming up and I’m pumped. Man, I’m so ready to go to college. These tests will be a breeze. Now that I think about it, the six weeks of finals I’ve experienced here at DHS have been pretty sweet. The total time of like one school day spread over a week is nice. So, if you ask me, finals are really no big deal.

I kind of forgot my Infinite Campus password, so I have no idea how I’m doing in my classes. Spanish should be the easiest, ‘cause Profe said we only have an oral exam, and I went to the dentist last week. I can definitely pull off a C+, piece of cake. After Spanish on Wednesday, I’m jetting out of town since I have 678 free. True story: I dropped science to get 7th and 8th free and I go home and take a nap errday.

It’s been a nice first semester, you know, going home for lunch and coming back to school for practice to keep my gym waiver. Yeah, that’s right, I’ve basically got four free periods, five if you include math (which I do—first period?! It’s like the scheduling people are begging me to sleep through it).

But back to finals. I figure I’ll start studying over the weekend if I remember to take my textbooks home. I made a pretty classy schedule for the weekend, with some links to Facebook and StumbleUpon to reward my hard work organizing. I also totally recommend for some prime procrastinating. It’s awesome: when my mom walks in, I just tell her I’m studying geography, and she totally buys that they still teach that in high school social studies! It’s like, psyche mom, I’m in Psych!

So is this article long enough yet? Oh crap, I think I lost the gym syllabus. That final’s gonna be challenging. Oh wait, there isn’t one. Aw yeahhh. You know what, Imma peace now. It’s time for my nap.

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