“Ah-Ha!” Moment Faked

By George Minkowski There is nothing worse than asking a question, not…

Morgan Freeman: The Eighth Ancient Wonder of the World

By Jeremy Hoodaman Yesterday, the Screen Actors Guild honored Morgan Freeman as…

Freshman Having Second Thoughts About Latest Unit in Gym Class

By Elijah Brisk It’s that time of year again. The time of…

Radical Student Refused to Conform to (Spanish Honors) Societal Norms

Deerfield Food Pantry Has Enough Cream of Celery, Thank You

By George Minkowski DEERFIELD– Tuesday after school, judges went around the building…

SparkNotes Releases SparkNoted SparkNotes

By Jeremy Hoodaman SparkNotes, the sworn enemy of English teachers everywhere, recently…

Super-Villain Talks Too Much, Hero Escapes Again

By Antone Walters Dr. Third Eye, the notorious super-villain bent on world…

Quiznos Owes Us Big Time For Showing Their Ad Here

Everyone Survives Offensive Halloween Costume

Illegally Downloaded Music Has Artists Singing the Blues

By Jeremy Hoodaman In recent years, the emergence of illegal file-sharing services,…