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Beep, Beep: Your AP Test is Over—Psych!!

large_classroom_3 Heart pounding and already using my backup pencil, I am three led breaks away from having nothing but my blood to write with. I just need to nail this conclusion harder than that g… don’t think dirty. Now is not the time. Speaking of time, BEEP

Holy shit. Holy shit! The test cannot be over already.

“You have ten minutes remaining.”

Thank goodness. I was about to decapitate the proctor and mount her head to be forever appreciated on E-114’s mantle. Not like anybody uses this room anyway, besides for student “suck up your spare change” council. I heard the only reason half the people join is for the free bagels. Typical Jewish stunt. I bet all those B’nai Tikvah goers are using all the money they have left on their school printing account because they cannot pass up such a bargain. They are such BEEP

“You have five minutes remaining.”

Honestly, shut up you stupid administrator. Don’t you have more important things to do than proctor this exam? For AP’s sake, my idiot savant brother could proctor this exam. He can also tell you how many calories are in a Big Mac, extra ketchup. Why couldn’t he have picked a cooler thing to use all his brainpower for? BEEP

“There are three minutes remaining.”

Oh my AP! That is pointless and distracting. Only two minutes have past. You know what takes two minutes? Retelling the story about how you had to awkwardly pee next to your architecture teacher during an unforgettable urinal encounter. That guy sure likes to show off his equipment.

[Old proctor talking to even older proctor. Words not audible, but still pretty damn annoying.]

Why I ought’a take my extra AP sticker label and tape it over the proctor’s Sodexho eating mouth. I’ve been studying for a month for this baby. This means everything to me. Too bad my essay is illegible. No, stay positive. Finish strong, like a Senior in a level three class.

“Time. Put your pencils down or we will shoot.”

That sucked. Whatever. It is not like I care about that test anymore.

May 23, 2009

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