Stuck here between two stories, I feel like a freshman trying to call myself out of class for the first time. I’m just a little insecure and a little stupid. I am not even a whole column length!
It’s like a really cute girl talking to me for the first time. All they really want is the answers to the math homework, but they feel obligated to say some pleasantries before getting to the good stuff. I’m just filler. You probably don’t even know my name!
Look. They even gave me a little picture. It’s like getting a sixth place ribbon in track… in a race with six people. We recognize you exist… Congratulations.
This is a train wreck. It reminds me of that one convo I had with that cute girl. I made a filibuster joke. Oops. I tried to cover that up with an allusion to Hamlet. Double oops. How to end such a waste of space, that is the question. Ironic, it is not even a question mark in that sentence