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Oh the Things You Will Hear in the Hallway

oh_the_things_hallwayTidbits of conversations are hardly ever in context, but have always made me wonder what is wrong with humanity. Clearly, a lot. As one girl was talking to her friend and coughing all over the place, I hear, “I think I have Mono.” That’s just great. I think I now I have Mono too.

“And that’s how I ended up on the roof of Walden without my jeans.” There is a comment that I considered turning around for and following the three gentlemen who were in an expressive conversation. I would have politely told them I was just listening if they wondered why a kid was practically drafting off of them. How did he end up on the roof? Was he at least wearing boxers? I will never know.

The best part of hallway conversations is how you barely can hear them, but as you move closer the words become louder and certain words become awkwardly emphasized in your mind. Honestly, I think I might kill Tony Romo with my shotgun because he sucks at playing through pain. As far as I heard, this guy has a shotgun. He also thinks Romo sucks, although I did not really catch the end of his sentence.

Best of all are the partial conversations. In Q hall I overhear the question, “What am I going to do with all my free time.” Three minutes later in X-hall I see the same couple, now obnoxiously kissing each other goodbye as if they would never see each other again and want the world to know their true love, which has been realized at the age of 14. Yet, through the gross display of their awesomeness, I hear, “I really think the Tyradactal was the coolest dinosaur.” What! How did the conversation end up on Tyradactals? How do you even spell Tyradactals? I know it is not the way I am spelling it because my computer underlined it in blood red. Anyways, unless this dude is planning on resurrecting Taradactals (thanks Wikipedia for the spelling, even though my computer still doesn’t believe you, I know you are always right) and riding on them across the Great Plains of Illinois, it boggles my mind to wonder what happened during the two minutes I missed.

From “Then my brother removed the staple from my neck” to “does she really think those shoes match those pants,” the hallway journey should be loved and cherished. I once heard a kid tell to his friend, “Are you even listening to me?” Yes, I am listening. I am always listening.

Top Three (Most Common)
1. “What day is it?”
2. “Can you call me out, dude.”
3. “Tuesday? I thought it was Thursday. I hate Tuesday.”

December 30, 2008

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