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McDonald’s Scandal Uncovered

False McAdvertising Leads to McControversy

McDonald’s, an All-American company with an All-American feel to it, has always seemed to be loved for its food while it’s been hated for its food, among other things. The company took a big hit the past week as lawyers representing “humanity” uncovered a great scandal in McDonald’s advertising.

For about a four-year period, McDonald’s commercials and catchy jingles would be followed by the slogan “we love to see you smile.” This slogan preceded the current “(Ba-da ba-ba-ba) I’m lovin’ it,” but came after the very old-school “have you had your break today?” The use of this slogan represented the down-to-earth, homelike feel that McDonald’s has wanted to portray to their customers.

How can this be illegal, you may ask? Simple. Any claims about a product that are made in advertisements must be true, even if they are biased. For example, a commercial for Lunchables may show how their products are fun to eat and they taste good, even if everything is processed and the entire meal contains 34 grams of saturated fat and 1320 mg of sodium.

Unfortunately, McDonald’s has been unable to prove the truth to their former slogan. When ex-employees of McDonald’s were interviewed by Desmond Lumpypants, one of the lawyers representing “humanity” (it must be put in quotes so you know that we didn’t say it first, proving were not biased), none of them responded “yes” to the question “do you truly enjoy seeing your customers smile?”

“Such a consistent contradiction to the McDonald’s advertisements means that the company is using false advertising,” said Lumpypants. “They are completely liable.”

Gabriel Vazquez, 25, was an employee for two years when the company used the slogan. His testimony might be a key to this trial.

“I didn’t really enjoy my job one bit,” said Vazquez. “My focus wasn’t on making them smile, but it was on making my money and getting out of there. The manager didn’t seem to care if they smiled as long as they weren’t angry at us.”

McDonald’s had no comment on the situation.

In court, Lumpypants wants to have McDonald’s turn in their profits from when they used the slogan. “They don’t deserve any of it,” said Lumpypants. According to his investigation, Lumpypants thinks that McDonald’s would owe about $1.32477 sextillion (yes, it’s a number).

The court date is scheduled for some time this decade.

“I’m also very concerned about their current slogan,” said Lumpypants. “It’s very unspecific. What is ‘I’ and ‘it’ refer to? Their advertisements are brainwashing America to think that their customers are lovin’ their food. However, it could mean that I, Desmond, am lovin’ penicillin, but I’m allergic to penicillin.”

The Flipside will release another report when more on the developments of this case are known.

December 14, 2008

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