WASHINGTON—In the past couple of weeks the media has been flooded with Dick Cheney stories and Dick Cheney jokes and Dick Cheney cartoons, but they all have the story wrong.

In an interview given yesterday, the Vice President finally let the nation in on what really happened that fateful Saturday at Armstrong Ranch in Texas.

“Everything else I said before this was a lie… This was not an accident. I am not a crook. He was on my nerves. He was getting annoying. [Whittington] had it coming to him.”

We asked him if part of interview was taken from Richard Nixon, and he said no. Later he told sources that this was also a lie.

This incident once again brought up the integrity of our national government. With the recent I. Lewis Motor “Scooter” Libby, Jack Abramoff and Karl Rove scandals, the Cheney shooting is just another one to that list.

We asked President Bush if he was worried about the lack of honesty within his administration. He replied, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” Later we found out he did not know he was being interviewed and he was speaking about his wife.

We asked Bush if he knew he had taken that line from former President Clinton and he replied in the negative. Later Dick Cheney told us that Bush was lying.

The Dick Cheney shooting was once again an example of why no one likes Dick Cheney.

However, in light of recent events, Cheney announced that he will not be seeking reelection as Vice President after this term.

When told that this wasn’t possible, Cheney replied that this also was a lie.

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