DHS Library EXPOSED: Thirsty for Instagram Followers

Everyone’s had that experience with the librarians.  Be it getting yelled at for eating a Kit Kat, which is somehow different from the candy that you can get for answering the “Question of the Day,” or maybe talking a little bit too loud, even though the Courtyard next door is producing even more reckless and distracting noises.  It seems like the library has rules against everything: eating, drinking, sitting more than four to a table, thinking too loud, existing, praising Harambe, and opening interdimensional portals in the red room, but we here at The Flipside have found one weird trick to get out of any punishment: @dhslibrary1.

If you mention the DHS library’s Instagram account, you may actually get let off the hook.  About to get kicked out for eating something?  “Hey, but I follow the library on Instagram!”  You’ll get off Scott Stern free.  Get busted sitting five to a table?  “Looks like the library gained five new followers!” They’ll even pull up a few more chairs.  They even value their Instagram followers more than money – just double-tap a couple of their photos and they won’t make you pay that 40 cents that you owe for returning a book late.

The library has an inherent need to stunt on the ‘gram.  Common posts of theirs include pictures with massive stacks of fine money, videos that explain how to use subscription databases, and janky stopmotions made with the iPads. They are also very active under specific hashtags, such as #GaleOpposingViewpoints, #AdvancedSearch, and #SassingStudents.

Are you tired of the hypocrisy of the library? Yelling at you for eating with a sandwich in their hands? Getting angry for you talking loud when them yelling at you is even louder than you were being? Upset that you opened a portal to another dimension when their desk is literally a portal to the underworld?  Just use our one weird trick that makes doctors hate you and librarians love you – following them on Insta – and you’ll never face it again.

September 14, 2016

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