Having solved all your computer issues, and with the 1 November deadline quickly approaching for early college applications, we here at the Flipside decided to answer your questions about tackling the application process.
Question: What’s the difference between Early Decision and Early Action?
Answer: ED involves selling your soul, while EA is for more experienced applicants and requires a virgin sacrifice. If you’re looking for a suitable victim, we hear there are a lot in the computer science classes.
Question: When should I start my college applications?
Answer: Deerfield college counselors recommend taking advantage of your free time during the summer to begin essays and applications. We, at the Flipside, encourage you to follow in our footsteps: do everything the night before it is due. When do you think we wrote this article?
Question: Why is there a Universal App if schools don’t universally accept it?
Answer: It’s actually conspiracy by the Common App to convince you that they are so popular they created competition. Common App PR Manager Tad Vertysment admits the unusual move was inspired by, “every movie about junior high ever.”
Question: Why do I want to go to this college?
Answer: I’m interested in attending [copy-and-paste] College/University because of its beautiful campus, active and engaged student community, and top-ranked academics.
Question: AHH I GOT AN A- FIRST QUARTER FRESHMAN YEAR; HARVARD WILL NEVER ACCEPT ME!
Answer: Very sorry, but you are going to have to accept the reality that in order to get past this failure, you will have to work tirelessly for the next three years to repent for what you have done. Say goodbye to daylight.