*Note to readers: Please do not read the following article in a sarcastic voice.

By Travis Delmar
Really, Travis Delmar wrote this

As the floodgates open and more writers dabble in the area of satire, other styles of writing are taking offense. Satire is just too good. “It’s like the Helen Keller card in Apple-to-Apples. It’s that popular,” said an incredibly immature freshman. Satire has overtaken poetry as “the best form of writing that has ever and will ever exist.”

Credible and unbiased sources such as The Onion and the DHS Flipside have had only great things to say about satire as well.

“Reading satire has become America’s favorite pastime. There exists no better way to pass the time.” – Something that The Onion actually wrote.

“Superior to eating, sleeping, and even CodMod2” – Something that The DHS Flipside did not say sarcastically.

“[Satire] is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.”—Robert Heinlein said this about writing, but was definitely referring to satire.

We tried to get an interview with Satire itself, but it was too busy saving readers from all other forms of useless writing. Looking into the advantages of Satire we found it had a few positive attributes to offer the world. When writing in Satire, what is written always has a literal meaning. What is meant is what is said, and vice versa.

Said Poetry on the issue, “I asked satire to star in my third stanza, but it said that I should stick to things like depression, love, and coming of age, because that’s what really gets people laughing. Satire can be so helpful sometimes”

Satire’s PR representative released a statement: “It is very easy to tell when something is intended sarcastically. Everything I say should in NO WAY be interpreted as sarcasm. Seriously, I am not saying this sarcastically right now.”

Note: Michael Jackson can be substituted for the Helen Keller joke if deemed inappropriate

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