By: The Real William Stafford

The Earth’s one natural satellite, the Moon, is more than one quarter the size of Earth itself (3,474 km diameter). Because of its smaller size, the Moon is able to provide reflected sunlight at about one-sixth the UV light of direct sunlight.

‘It’s going to be the newest trend to hit the midnight hour during full moons’, said Astrophysicist Bobcat Goldthwait. ‘Because image is such a factor in the American mindset, this alternative is limitless in transforming physical image much more safely. People are going to start paying attention to the waxing and waning of the moon cycles’.

Put away that sunscreen and prepare your nights not on the town, but on the roof.

‘We’re beginning to have rooftops being rented and filled with tanning chairs, a trend never seen before. The only drawback to Moon tanning is that it takes more time for that well rounded browning. The good thing is that you can go to sleep without cooking your skin to a deep redness. Those are the burns that lead to melanoma. Moon tanning cannot lead to cancer. It just can’t’. says Sam Kinison (LA Buffoon Research).

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