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Bonds on “Bonds on Bonds”

Barry Bonds Reviews His New Hot Reality Show

BY BARRY LAMAR BONDS

I’ve had success on the diamond, but with America’s changing culture, I want success in reality television. I mean, you’ve got athletes doing shows these days, and I want in.

This also gives me a shot to express my feelings and frustrations about these steroid allegations, which is exactly what they are, allegations.

I’m just trying to give the people a look into what my life is really like. It’s tough being Barry Bonds. I mean, I have to worry about editing my show, my elbow and knee injuries, tickets for fans, hitting homers and hoping to win a few games. The show takes a lot out of me, at the end of the day I just need to rest and relax.

But, I think overall the show will be huge, just like my biceps (wait, I wasn’t supposed to actually write that). Who wouldn’t want to listen to me in a quiet, lighted room discussing what my life is all about? The show is going to be a great success; I know it will be. And to clarify the name of the show, it’s Barry Bonds talking about Barry Bonds, it’s as simple as that. It’s not Barry Bonds speaking on savings bonds, ain’t no body wants to hear that. They want Barry, and that’s what I’m going to give them.

December 15, 2008

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