It’s as easy as flip, pull, click!
It’s as easy as flip, pull, click!

As a freshman, high school can seem intimidating and confusing. As a senior, high school still seems intimidating and confusing—however, by using these tips and tricks, any nervous freshman can turn themselves into a successful student who is loved by all. 

Always Show up a Little Late to Class

If you really want to make an impression on your teachers and classmates, don’t be in class by the time the bell rings, show up a little afterwards. It’s a very subtle way of letting people know how cool and sophisticated you are. Teachers love to see that school isn’t your top priority, it shows that you aren’t afraid to make your own path. And you’ll make so many friends! Everyone will think you’re the coolest person ever if you consistently fail to show up on time, and disrupt the entire class when you finally do enter, if at all. You’ll also instantly be respected if you give finger guns to both the students and your teacher as you walk to your seat.

Call Teachers by Their First Names

High school is all about making connections with other people, and what better way to do that than to address your teachers as your friends? “Mr.” and “Mrs.” are so outdated. It’s 2022, just call them by their first names (Bonus points if you call them nicknames). One secret that the teachers don’t want you to know is that they want to be friends with you. This means that you should treat them as an equal, not as an authority figure. I’ll never forget the look on Mr. Forrester’s face when I passed him in the hallway and called out, “What’s up B-dawg!” 

Always Wait Until the Last Minute to Complete Your Work

I know most people say to evenly pace your workload throughout the week, but there are more effective ways to complete your assignments. High school is definitely a place to learn and grow; everyday I find myself learning new things. So you should wait until the last possible moment to do your work, because by then you’ll surely be smarter and wiser. When your mom tells you to get your work done, just tell her that she doesn’t understand the “alpha mentality”. Your work can wait, the Fortnite grind however, cannot.

Pull the Fire Alarm to Get Out of Whatever You Want

This can apply to anything. Maybe you have a test next period, or a presentation. Or maybe you’re just extremely bored in class. Whatever the reason may be, casually pulling the fire alarm is the best way to get out of anything you don’t want to do. There are absolutely no consequences for doing this, and you’ll totally impress all the ladies with your bravery.

If Necessary, Make a Deal with Satan to Pass Your Finals

Picture this: December rolls around, and shortly, finals week will be upon you. You could study everyday for numerous hours to prepare for finals, but let’s face it, no one wants to do that. A much easier way to guarantee success is to contact Satan himself, and bargain with him. He can offer you the ability to score perfectly on all your exams, however there is typically a small price. Sometimes you have to pick up his dry-cleaning, sometimes you have to work as his servant in the underworld for eternity, sometimes he requests that you cook him a lovely pot roast dinner, and occasionally he will take your soul, which will leave you as an empty shell of a human for the rest of your life. But your parents will be so proud of you when they see your report card!

I hope anyone reading this could learn something valuable from my advice. My only regret in high school is that I wasn’t aware of these helpful tips and tricks as a freshman—well, also my ex. I know it can seem weird at first, but high school really is a time for you to learn and grow, and meet new people. To all the freshmen reading this, have a great first year! To everyone else who is reading this, ;).

Max Kohl
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