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Did I Miss Anything in Class Yesterday?

did-i-miss-anythingA Teacher’s Perspective

“Did I miss anything in class yesterday?” asks a student.

“No. The entire world revolves around you, therefore, we did not do anything because you were not there,” the teacher desperately wants to say. In actuality she says, “You should check out somebody’s notes.”

Honestly, as a teacher these are the times I want to stop using the overhead to project my brilliant power point presentations and start using it as a weapon of blunt force, bashing that arrogant kid’s head into a pulp. What, is my job completely worthless? You miss one day and have the balls to ask, “Did I miss anything.” No, I shouldn’t get angry. It is not like you have been sitting in my class all year. You wouldn’t have any idea what occurs on a daily basis in this class. My bad.

“So there is nothing I have to make up?” asks the still smiling student.

“Nothing. We twiddled our thumbs yesterday and whined to the g-ds ‘oh where, oh where could little Johnny be? I hope he is all right. I miss his presence in class so dearly,’” admitted the teacher as she could no longer contain her sarcasm.

“You didn’t have to do that for me,” remarks John the innocent. “Wait, did you?”

“No. Are you an idiot? Is there anybody up there,” the teacher stated as she playfully tapped Johnny’s near empty skull with her fist.

Of course, I have never done that. One of these days, though, when my tenure is secure and I am about to retire, I’m going to let one of those kids have it. For now, I’ll just keep finding ways to lower the grades of all the Johnny’s in the world.

May 19, 2009

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