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Boys Are Better

kingBy: A Boy

It is the age old debate, a debate that only recently women are allowed to enter: which gender is superior. Who does g-d love more? (I’m pretty sure he answered that one right from the beginning. At least that is what my right rib is telling me. Or is that my sister talking?) In any given category, men simply have the balls to win.

Let’s also consider who g-d decided should sit on the sideline for months at a time, completely out of commission. That’s right, women. A man cannot have a child simply because we cannot afford to have men out of the workforce for that long.

In the toughest tests of endurance, it is said to “take it like a man,” not “take it like a woman.” If we took it like a woman, us stronger gentleman would have to cry when in pain, play sports at half speed, and learn to not eat on a regular basis. No, we take it like a man.

Let’s think of famous authors. Shakespeare, Dickens, Faulkner, any Greek author… Hey, at least some of those men were nice enough to have a couple girl characters. I’m pretty sure the wise Shakespeare did not trust girls enough to play the role of a girl. No fear, Shakespeare, a man can do a better job of playing a woman than a woman. I’m looking at you, Dustin Hoffman in Tootsie.

I know something girls might be better at: fashion. They have Yves St. Laurent, Ralph Lauren, and Calvin Klein. Oh wait, those are all males.

Girls do have beautiful voices. I mean, let’s think of the world’s best music. You got the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, Queen (no girls in that band, despite its name), Pink Floyd, and how could I forget: Hilary Duff.

Remember this historic election when a woman became president? No? Well, that’s because a man won. Again.

Speaking of historical, does it bother you that it is significant the first time a woman does something a man has done years, if not centuries, ago?

It’s a man’s world. Those of you on the moody, menstrual cycle side, just be happy you’re living in it.

April 11, 2009

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