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Iran: “We Totally Have a Nuclear Weapon. But Just for Fun, How Do You Make a Nuclear Weapon?”

By George Minkowski TEHRAN, IRAN –This past Friday, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad announced that they have successfully detonated a nuclear weapon. This feat makes them the ninth nation in the…

Chilean Miners Ask To “Chill Down Here For A While”

By Jeremy Hoodaman CHILE — Thirty-three miners trapped underground in Chile sent a handwritten note on Sunday requesting a few extra months to “hang out in the mine.” Despite initial…

The Truth About Homecoming: You Can Say “No”

By Boris Belanov DEERFIELD, IL — The familiar festivities of Homecoming are being kicked off in a mere four days with Student Council’s outrageously popular “Spirit Week.” Deerfield’s rockstar students…

Safety School Explodes

Girl Puts Pictures of Friends in Locker, Proves to Passersby She Has Friends