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Clemens Tells Congress They Have Just Been “Punk’d”

By Gordon Swift WASHINGTON, D.C.—In one of the most shocking moments of C-Span’s glorious history, Ashton Kutcher and Roger Clemens jumped out from behind the podium and informed congress that…

Ask Mr. Motzko: Shortcuts and Buckets

Ask Mr. Motzko Dear Mr. Motzko I was just driving home from the Burger King in Waukegan, and I thought to myself, “I really need a better shortcut to get…

Random Acts of Kindness Day Goes Exactly As Planned

By Funky DelPueblo DEERFIELD, IL—After several months of hard work and preparation, S.O.S. has once again surprised the entire school with their annual Random Acts of Kindness day. S.O.S. sponsors…

Sparks Fly Between Woman and Fire

Area Man Way Too Excited to Enter Rental Car