2016 Freshman Exec Board Race: Your Guide to the Candidates

 

With only a year to go in the race to be on the 2016-2017 freshman executive board, the candidates both in the Shepard and Caruso parties are really starting to get to work on pulling in voters. But with such a large crop of candidates, how is one to decide (much less keep track of) all the options? Luckily, the Flipside is here to cover all of the details.

 

SHEPARD CANDIDATES:

 

Candidate: Gabby Eletto

Star Sign: Virgo

What’s their deal?: Eletto longs to put an end to the rule of so-called “establishment politics” on the freshman executive board by bringing her years of experience on the SMS poms team rather than the humdrum student council experience of the other candidates. She has caused a stir on social media with her comments about Riverwoods.

Issues of focus: She has stated that her main goal is to cut spending for extracurricular clubs and get that smell out of C-Hall. She also wants to ban kids who live in Riverwoods from attending DHS and make those who already do transfer by fall of 2017.

 

Candidate: Jack Schmidt

Star Sign: Aquarius

What’s their deal?: Some have voiced concerns that the election of Jack Schmidt could create something of a political dynasty in the freshman executive board, seeing as both of his brothers (Evan in 2014 and Jacob in 2011) have served, but he insists that he will still bring a fresh point of view to the board.

Issues of focus: Funding of Planned Parenthood, for some reason.

 

Candidate: Alex Griffard

Star Sign: Leo

What’s their deal?: Griffard is a highly anti-government candidate who has stated that Ron Swanson of NBC’s Parks and Recreation is his political role model. He has a small but vocal constituency already, but hasn’t shown much ability to grow his base.

Issues of focus: He plans to disband and destroy the freshman executive board, and then the sophomore executive board a year later, and so on.

 

Candidate: Jared Healey

Star Sign: Gemini

What’s their deal?: Healey is something of a long shot in the race, drawing only .5% of votes in the most recent polls. However, he does boast an impressive resume serving as the president of the SMS student council and having a working knowledge of what a Super PAC is.

Issues of focus: Healey has stated that he thinks that extracurricular spending has gotten out of hand, and wants to reallocate that money to provide slightly more believable meats in the caf.

 

CARUSO CANDIDATES:

 

Candidate: Alyssa Keswick

Star Sign: Capricorn

What’s their deal?: Keswick is the current frontrunner and an assumed winner for the race. She held hands with current freshman exec board member Jared Galvez at Arianna Rosenberg’s bat mitzvah last year, so she is something of an insider.

Issues of focus: Keswick has not explicitly stated her plans, but she has come out in support of people staying past halftime at the football games.

 

Candidate: Jasmine McNeish

Star Sign: Pisces

What’s their deal?: McNeish is a known radical arts kid who is gaining a lot of traction with voters on tumblr. It remains to be seen whether these proponents will actually make it out to vote come the election, though.

Issues of focus: McNeish has stated that she wants to funnel drastically more money into the arts should she be elected. She declines to explain where this money will come from, which has many athletes concerned.

 

BANNOCKBURN CANDIDATE

 

Candidate: Crystal Genzel

Star Sign: who cares nobody will vote for her

What’s their deal?: who cares nobody will vote for her

Issues of focus: who cares nobody will vote for her

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