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Grandparents’ Day Reestablishes Stereotype That Grandpas Love Ugly Sweaters

Deerfield Police Officer Pulls Old Woman Over for “Reckless Driving”

Kim Kardashian Gets Divorced, Nobody Surprised Except Husband

Fine Arts Assembly Canceled Due to Too Much Laughter Over Its Nickname

New Twilight Movie Released, Cedric is Still Dead

Bieber Christmas CD Sells Out, Five-Year-Olds and Middle-Aged Moms Disappointed Everywhere

Student Auditions for STUNTS with Dinosaur Impression, Makes It

Halloween Season Proves to Be a Confusing Time for Irishman Mr. Jack O’Lantern

Hula Hoop Tragedy Leaves Twelve Injured

Obesity Rates Continue to Rise, Big Macs Still Taste Just as Good

Student’s Vocabulary Gets Worse After Her “Synonyms” Tab Stops Working

Refillable Dry Erase Pens: The Most Exciting Things to Teachers Since Tablet Computers

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