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Republican Leaders: “Is Obama Really Even a Man?”

By George Minkowski WASHINGTON—After President Obama released his birth certificate, members of the GOP have been scrambling to find something else to raise doubts about Obama’s eligibility to be president…

The Year in Review

Ask Mr. Motzko: Legacy

Dear Mr. Motzko, I graduate really soon, but I still haven’t done anything that notable here at Deerfield High School. Do you have any ideas to leave a legacy that…

Graduating Class Immortalized on Cafeteria Wall for One Year

CollegeBoard Changes Penalty for Discussing Multiple-Choice Problems to Arson of Your House

Student Studying at Public Library Looks Smart, Imagines Student Studying at Public Library

New Research Shows No One Cares About Your Stupid Camp Friends, Ever

By Jeffrey Hoodaman In an upcoming study to be pub­lished in Psychological Science, psychologists from the Universi­ty of Minnesota have discovered that seriously, nobody cares about your stupid camp friends.…

DHS Senior Wants to Win “Best Eyes” Way Too Much

By George Minkowski When it comes to being voted “Best Eyes” by the DHS senior class of 2011, Brett Wicker has a “win or die” attitude. Brett had always wanted…

Whenever You Feel Sad, Just Remember How Rich I Am

By Stanley Meyers America is struggling. 9.2% of the labor force is unemployed, the real estate market is in shambles, and college students are struggling under hundreds of thou¬sands of…

Blackhawks Bandwagon Too Full, Breaks Down

Epic Presidential Fistbump Causes Magnitude 7.2 Earthquake

CatDog Still Confused About How To Poop

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