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Entire Senior Class Held Back
By Angel Gilmore DEERFIELD, IL—In an executive decision made by Dr. Roberto Floopdimallie, DHS principal extraordinaire, the entire senior class of 2006 will not be graduating this year. “It was…
Child Labor is A-OK
By Cool Ted What’s up America? Teddy here, with the usual scoop. Alright, so we all know that the economy bites the big one. But how can our nation solve…
Opinion: “Well what if I want to be extinct?”
By Shi “The Rock” Shi San Diego Zoo—I can’t do it. I’m sorry America. I’m sorry China, and I’m sorry to all of the patrons at the San Diego Zoo.…