Area Bicyclist “Couldn’t Care Less” About High Gas Prices

By Picov Andropov DEERFIELD, IL – It was the best of times,…

My K y Do sn’t Work!

By P t r Gouland SACRAM NTO, CA—This always s ms to…

New AIM Feature Allows You to Monitor Your Buddy’s Blood Pressure

By Buddy Lentil ARLINGTON HEIGHTS, IL—With version 3.2.01 of AIM entering the…

Japanese Create Uggs Spinnoff Called “Mugs”

OKAZAZI, JAPAN—With the market for copycat products on the rise, Japanese company…

Optimists Think Pessimist’s Club is a Success!

By Nell Federmeyer Two Thursdays ago, Angela Hinkley, a lifelong resident of…

Rebellious Senior Girl Doesn’t Do Homework Some of the Time

By Lenny Detroit DEERFIELD, IL—Self-proclaimed “rebel senior” Minnie Portman just announced today…

22: The Story of 5 CLC Students whose Ability to Count Cards is “Not that Great”

By Picov Andropov Vice President of External Affairs LAS VEGAS, NV –…

Two Face Baby To Get Half-Time on ACT

Baby Lali, April 8SAINI VILLAGE, India—In a slightly uncommon shenanigan, Erica Doodad…