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iPhones Taking Over the World, Everyone Too Busy iMessaging to Care

Teachers Complain About Uploading Grades Online, Waste the Three Seconds It Takes to Type It In

OPINION: SOPA and PIPA

By Nicki Chamberlain-Simon Maybe the Apocalypse is Coming a Little Sooner Than We Expected If SOPA passes, we are all going to die. Like literally, die. It is quite possibly…

Hallways Now Closed in Order to Open Minds

By Maddie Ambrose The start of second semester is upon us and for most it is a time of celebration. Seniors embark on their final semester of high school, freshmen…

Theatre Kids Go to Some Fest, School Finally Quiet for Once

Man Cannot Form Intelligible Sentence, Decides to Enter the GOP Race

OPINION: Finals Week

By Emma Soren Finals Are So Stressfullll By Alice Sharpe, Type A Freshman My first high school finals are coming up and I’m totally freaking out! These tests will determine…

New Study Shows that Clouds are Cotton Candy, Scientists Baffled

By Hudy Serotta St. Alfonzo, MN–8 1/4-year-old Jimmy O’Toole astonished the world on Thursday with his discovery that, contrary to popular belief, clouds are not a mass coalescence of water…

Mistletoe Outlawed Until Mono Outbreak is Under Control

All I Want for Christmas is You (and an iPad 2)

“Do It For the Children,” Says Guilt Tripping Fundraiser

Ask Mr. Motzko

Dear Mr. Motzko, With the holidays coming up I have noticed that all of these other families have “family traditions.” My family doesn’t have any, but I want us to.…

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