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World Health Report: Senioritis is in Season Extra Early this Year.

Disregarde Skul, the bacteria commonly known as Senioritis, has infected 17- and 18-year-olds across the globe extra early this year. While this pathogen is normally infectious in the late spring and early summer, Senioritis expert Dr. Ino Dowerk says, “Oh, sorry I didn’t prepare a comment for this…

DHS Library EXPOSED: Thirsty for Instagram Followers

Everyone’s had that experience with the librarians.  Be it getting yelled at for eating a Kit Kat, which is somehow different from the candy that you can get for answering the “Question of the Day,” or maybe talking a little bit too loud, even though the Courtyard next…

We’ll Be Better This Time

Deerfield, we’re sorry.  It will never happen again.  We know, we messed up, but we’re so sorry and we really hope you will take us back.  Seeing you with that other newspaper just really messed us up.  We made promises, and we didn’t keep them.  Remember when we…

Confused Freshman Discovers Z-Hall

Lost and hopelessly confused, freshman Danny Booker found himself wandering around a section of the school that was…

Seniors Skip Traditional Senior Prank–Blamed on “Senioritis”

“Senioritis,” reports Dr. Hugh Jabutt, local laziness expert, “is traditionally encountered by seniors during their second semester. The primary symptoms include laziness, homework…

2016 Flipside Presidential Roundup

In light of Dr. Dignam’s recent promotion to superintendent, it seems Deerfield will once again be in need…

The Sandman Finds Himself Unemployed as Students Sleep Less

For those who do not know, The Sandman is a mythological being, similar to The Tooth Fairy, who…

Secret Menu of The Crossroads Cafe

It’s public knowledge that the Deerfield Crossroads Cafe (yes, this is the official name of the caf) recently…

Flipside Writer Criticized for Procrastination

Earlier this month, sources reported an unnamed Flipside writer fleeing to Canada in order to avoid an awkward…

We Get It, You Swim

“I woke up at 4:55 this morning,” some guy on the swim team boasted. “Oh, yeah? I was up…

What Not to be Thankful for

PLYMOUTH – With the holiday season upon us, it can be all too easy to get caught up…

What to be Thankful for

With Thanksgiving less than one week away, it is important to remember to take a moment and reflect.…

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