Dear Mr. Motzko, With the holidays coming up I have noticed that all of these other families have “family traditions.” My family doesn’t have any, but I want us to.…
Dear Mr. Motzko, Halloween is coming up and I still don’t have a costume idea. Do you have any suggestions for something I could wear? Sincerely, No More Jersey Shore…
Dear Mr. Motzko, I graduate really soon, but I still haven’t done anything that notable here at Deerfield High School. Do you have any ideas to leave a legacy that…
Dear Mr. Motzko, Can I have your job? Sincerely, Usurper, Class of 2004 Usurper! Mendicant! Shapeshifter! You can have my job after you have extricated yourself off of the three-pronged…
Dear Mr. Motzko, I’ll spare you the details, but I’ve been having a really bad recurring nightmare involving the M&M guys and a shake weight. What do I do? Sincerely,…
Dear Mr. Motzko, OMG SO BORED! After spring break, anywhere sounds better than school. I think I have Senioritis. This debilitating condition is wreaking havoc on my life. And the…
Dear Mr. Motzko, For the most obvious reasons, I really want a snow day! I’ve been doing my part to get one; expressing my hope via Facebook status, whining, and…
Dear Mr. Motzko. I am lonely and allergic to almost everything. I really want a pet but it can’t have fur, scales, or feathers. My parent’s said I could get…