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Opinion: “Well what if I want to be extinct?”
By Shi “The Rock” Shi San Diego Zoo—I can’t do it. I’m sorry America. I’m sorry China, and I’m sorry to all of the patrons at the San Diego Zoo.…
New FOX Show “American Immigrant” to Cross Boundaries
By Curry Gagarin LOS ANGELES—With the success that American Idol has brought to the Fox Network, Fox has recently announced that, in alliance with the GOP, it will be producing…
Citing Lack of Presidential Achievement, Bush Unifies the Dakotas
By Winston Llental Recently, immediately after realizing that he was indeed President, George W. Bush also realized that his time in office was running out. Looking back on his tenure…
Tennis Superstar Parents Unimpressed by Son’s Artistic Talent
By Huey Caquest Husband and wife Andre Agassi and Steffi Graf are known worldwide for their tennis talent and prowess on the court. But with the four and a half…
FDA Approves Drug to Cure Senioritis
BY POLSTER HUE DEERFIELD—With the coming of the second semester, there have been an increased number of cases of Senioritis throughout Deerfield High School and other local communities. To help…