Concern Builds as Women Everywhere Follow Oprah’s Progressively Stranger Recommendations

By George Minkowski In recent days, Oprah Winfrey has begun an alarming…

United States Delays Indefinitely 2010

By Francis Nash President Barack Obama stunned the world last week after…

School Realizes Kid Has A Twin, Explains A Lot

By Alex Von Trapensfield Students and teachers at DHS have discovered that…

Hot Girl Likes Books

By George Minkowski DEERFIELD— As the old adage goes, never judge a…

Guest Letter: Asking Male Friends for Their Phone Numbers

“Ummm… hey dude, could I get your digits?” “My ‘digits’? Dude, what…

Morgan Freeman: The Eighth Ancient Wonder of the World

By Jeremy Hoodaman Yesterday, the Screen Actors Guild honored Morgan Freeman as…

SparkNotes Releases SparkNoted SparkNotes

By Jeremy Hoodaman SparkNotes, the sworn enemy of English teachers everywhere, recently…

Super-Villain Talks Too Much, Hero Escapes Again

By Antone Walters Dr. Third Eye, the notorious super-villain bent on world…

Illegally Downloaded Music Has Artists Singing the Blues

By Jeremy Hoodaman In recent years, the emergence of illegal file-sharing services,…

Really Cool Hipster Talks About: Parties

Parties aren’t easy. For some, the schmoozing and socializing comes naturally, but…

Unsolvable Sudoku Destroys Nation

By Jeremy Hoodaman In one of the largest blunders in recent history,…