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Teacher Interviews: Derrick Tiveron

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Born in Canada in the year 1892, Mr. Tiveron made a living as a moose before moving to Deerfield High School to teach various computer science and math classes. Rumor has it that through Mr. Tiveron’s veins pumps not blood, but viscous maple syrup. I sat down with a Mr. Tiveron impersonating chatbot for this interview. Me: Ok Mr. Tiveron, what was the last picture you took on your phone? Mr. Tiveron: A picture of my daughter, Leah, covered in

Me: Ok Mr. Tiveron, what was the last picture you took on your phone? Mr. Tiveron: A picture of my daughter, Leah, covered in

Mr. Tiveron: A picture of my daughter, Leah, covered in

Mr. Tiveron: A picture of my daughter, Leah, covered in vasoline.

Me: Ok… but now for the tough questions: would you rather fight 1 horse sized duck, or 100 duck sized horses?

Mr. Tiveron: Hmm… I don’t think I would want to fight the one big duck. Too intense for me. He’d quack pretty loud. Me: Solid logic. What is your dream job?

Mr. Tiveron: A teacher. Nah just kidding, a country music star.

Me: Oh… well ok. Would you rather have screaming nipples or a tongue that always interrupts you?

Mr. Tiveron: Are the nipples always screaming?

Me: No, but they are very vocal when they are.

Mr. Tiveron: Oh. I think I would go for the tongue then, I don’t want my nipples to be too loud.

Me: Ok, simple question: what is your favorite color?

Mr. Tiveron: Red, because you can’t see it.

Thank you Mr. Tiveron for being such a good sport. Interview questions and backstory may be embellished for comedic effect

September 15, 2016

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