HPHS “Burn Book” Makes New York Times Best Seller List

By: Michael Pattis

By Michael Pattis

HIGHLAND PARK—The HPHS Burn Book, penned in the traditional Mean Girls style by an HPHS student, has unexpectedly spearheaded a literary revolution by becoming a New York Times best seller.

The Burn Book, which contains snide remarks about a number of members of the Highland Park community, has been flying off bookshelves since it was published at HPHS a few weeks ago. Despite its blunt phraseology and controversial decision to use real names and events, The Burn Book has received critical acclaim by people such as J.K. Rowling, Oprah Winfrey, and Regina George.

According to New York Times book critic Pré Tentious, “The characters are absolutely enthralling. The Burn Book’s writer is so passionate in her voice that you almost feel like it was written by someone who needed to vent their emotional problems in the most obnoxious way possible.”

The review went on to praise the book as “groundbreaking” and “a scathing editorial on the mundane life of the average student.” But, despite these encouraging remarks from the general public, The Burn Book still has its critics.

“This piece of literature is fundamentally flawed,” noted English professor and HPHS parent Andrew Anderson. “The author failed to use basic writing conventions that would have provided for a more compelling story arc than what was printed. Also, my daughter is a religious girl and has not done anything the book says.”

Even with the concerns about its structure and validity, The Burn Book has redrawn attention to the genre of whiny, mean-spirited remarks about the people that for some reason had to be put down on paper.  With this formula, the HPHS Burn Book has eclipsed Twilight as most popular unnecessary, over-emotional scrawl ever passed off as a book.

The Flipside tried to contact the author and publisher of The Burn Book but was unable to reach her before she was unfortunately hit by a bus. And that was how the author died. Just kidding, but she did get really hurt.

December 25, 2011