- Stay Connected
Socialize
“Ah-Ha!” Moment Faked
By George Minkowski There is nothing worse than asking a question, not having it answered, and then being asked if you get it. In this uncomfortable situation, most students might…
Morgan Freeman: The Eighth Ancient Wonder of the World
By Jeremy Hoodaman Yesterday, the Screen Actors Guild honored Morgan Freeman as they pronounced him the eighth ancient wonder of the world. “We are so proud of… Oh man, I…
Freshman Having Second Thoughts About Latest Unit in Gym Class
By Elijah Brisk It’s that time of year again. The time of year when the school’s runny nostrils are graced daily with the sweet scent of chlorine, algaecides, and a…
Deerfield Food Pantry Has Enough Cream of Celery, Thank You
By George Minkowski DEERFIELD– Tuesday after school, judges went around the building to decide which homeroom built the best can-struction. Most of them were made from dented cans of cream…
SparkNotes Releases SparkNoted SparkNotes
By Jeremy Hoodaman SparkNotes, the sworn enemy of English teachers everywhere, recently announced “SparkNotes: SparkNotes Edition”, a new website with abbreviated versions of its summaries. Students have long complained about…
Super-Villain Talks Too Much, Hero Escapes Again
By Antone Walters Dr. Third Eye, the notorious super-villain bent on world domination, was bested once again by Alphaville’s most powerful superhero, Hyperboy. “My plan would have worked marvelously,” recounted…
Illegally Downloaded Music Has Artists Singing the Blues
By Jeremy Hoodaman In recent years, the emergence of illegal file-sharing services, which enable the instant download of nearly every song ever released, have left consumers with a difficult decision:…