Socialize

FacebookTwitter
Home » 2009 » January (Page 3)

School Chest Decides To Use Money to Bail Out Auto Industry

With this year’s annual school chest drawing to a close, stucco president Alec Weiser made a drastic, last minute change. Change we can believe in. Change for the people who…

Student Caught Texting Refuses to Admit He Was Texting

By George Minkowski DEERFIELD, IL— Deerfield’s strictly enforced and highly punishable anti-phone rule is enough to keep many students’ phones in their lockers, but a brave few take on the…

Ralph Lauren Comes Out With New Water Polo Clothing Line

FDA Asks “Scooby Dooby Do, Where Are You?” Upon Losing Their Best Drug Buster and His Addict Pal Shaggy

The Triumphs and Tragedies of a PE Substitute

I hate this job. I sit down and take attendance of all those hard to name kids. They laugh every time I mispronounce the slightest syllable in any name. What…

Moon Tanning: A Healthy Alternative

By: The Real William Stafford The Earth’s one natural satellite, the Moon, is more than one quarter the size of Earth itself (3,474 km diameter). Because of its smaller size,…

Two Horses Drown in Tragic Water Polo Incident

Students Develop Fear of Bubbles in Wake of Standardized Testing

By: Jeffery Hoodman A disturbing trend has surfaced in Deerfield High School following recently administered standardized tests; multiple students have reported to their counselors that they have developed an irrational…

Nobody Realizes That Pro Hockey is Being Played, Strike is Over, or That There Was a Strike

Doctor Succumbs to Urge to Tell Patient He’s Taking Placebo

By George Minkowski LOS ANGELES, CA— Foreign accent syndrome is a rare medical condition that usually occurs as a rare side effect of a severe brain injury, such as a…

Page 3 of 3123