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This Little Piggy Can No Longer Afford To Go To the Market

Facebook Loser Invites Friends to “I Still Have My Old Phone But I Don’t Have Your Number” Group

Water Polo Players Lose Waiver Because They Play Water Polo, Which Is Not a Real Sport

Kiley Hierl Throws Up a Shot

Popular Demand Leads to New Call of Duty Class

As kids continue to lose hours of their lives at seemingly the blink of the eye, DHS has decided to calm the COD mobsters and give them what they want:…

Isn’t This Awkward?

Stuck here between two stories, I feel like a freshman trying to call myself out of class for the first time. I’m just a little insecure and a little stupid.…

Senioritis Like This

By Kelly Clarkson What if I told you it was all meant to be No more finals for me Time to watch a lot of TV It’s almost that feelin’…

Joseph, Owner of the Technicolor Dreamcoat, Finally Comes Out of the Closet

Super Duper Mean Teacher Decides to Give Final That is Not a Project

Oh My G-d I Don’t Feel Like Doing My Math Homework

Problems 11-26. Odds and even! Is my teacher out of his frickin mind? I don’t have time for sixteen problems. Look. I just did math right there. 26-11, but I…

“That Did Not Turn Out Quite as Fun as it Sounded”

1. A third Chipotle burrito 2. Night time game of Marco Polo 3. That party 4. That movie 5. Water Polo Tournament 6. I don’t even want to talk about…

Swimmer’s Life Harder than Yours

DEERFIELD, IL—Two-a-Day practices and difficult workouts do not make for an easy life. DHS Junior Varsity swimmer Sam Levine just wants to make sure you know that. “I woke up…

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