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As kids continue to lose hours of their lives at seemingly the blink of the eye, DHS has decided to calm the COD mobsters and give them what they want: a sixteen person competitive, multiplayer class. Within two hours, students sent their Xbox live applications to reserve their spot in one of the remaining two class slots, as fourteen were filled during COD class BETA. And one class was reserved for the cool teachers who play videogames.

The class is not without controversy. Currently, grades are based on a student’s kill to death ratio. Some feel this is unfair, as they like to tactically snipe peoples heads off from a distance, watching their blood slowly trickle off their severed body. Others like to run around like a suicide bomber with their shotgun, racking up kills with a mediocre kill to death ratio. These unskilled fools are asking for a point-based system. Perks are for extra credit. Either way, your voice will be heard: so long as you have a headset.

Each year can move up a prestige, all in preparation for college. In college, of course, the only thing you do is play videogames.

Currently, honors World of War is being provided through the more historically rooted social studies department. It is taught by COD fanatic Ms. Kaplann. The far superior AP Modern Warfare class is being considered an applied art class, as the entire department has been having competitive LAN matches for years. Rumor is, it gets pretty viscous. No matter which class, just sign me up. Oh yeah, and for my other classes, just write me a pass.

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Stuck here between two stories, I feel like a freshman trying to call myself out of class for the first time. I’m just a little insecure and a little stupid. I am not even a whole column length!

It’s like a really cute girl talking to me for the first time. All they really want is the answers to the math homework, but they feel obligated to say some pleasantries before getting to the good stuff. I’m just filler. You probably don’t even know my name!

Look. They even gave me a little picture. It’s like getting a sixth place ribbon in track… in a race with six people. We recognize you exist… Congratulations.

This is a train wreck. It reminds me of that one convo I had with that cute girl. I made a filibuster joke. Oops. I tried to cover that up with an allusion to Hamlet. Double oops. How to end such a waste of space, that is the question. Ironic, it is not even a question mark in that sentence

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By Kelly Clarkson

What if I told you it was all meant to be
No more finals for me
Time to watch a lot of TV
It’s almost that feelin’
From back in Elementary
So tell me that you don’t think I’m crazy
When I tell you I’m done doing homework here and now

Senioritis like this
Some people wait a lifetime
For a moment like this
Some people search forever
For that one special disease
Ohh, I can’t believe it’s happening to me
Some people worked four years
For Senioritis like this

Everything changes
But other grades still must try
Something so stress free
I can’t explain
Well I maybe dreamin’
But ’till I awake
Can we make this dream last forever
And I’ll cherish all the free periods we share

Senioritis like this
Some people wait a lifetime
To never have to go to gym
Some people search forever
For the courage to call yourself out
Ohh, I can’t believe it’s happening to me
I think I’ll take every Tuesday off
For Senioritis like this

Could this be the greatest time of all
I don’t care where I will be next fall
So let me tell you this

Some people wait a lifetime

For Senioritis like this
I’m not going to clear my lunch tray
For a moment like this
Time to start worrying about Prom
For that one special kiss
Ohh, I can’t believe they took the heaters away from me
Some people didn’t work four years
For Senioritis like this [THE END]

And the crowd goes wild. Then to Chipotle.

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Problems 11-26. Odds and even! Is my teacher out of his frickin mind? I don’t have time for sixteen problems. Look. I just did math right there. 26-11, but I think you have to count the problem you start with too. Oh, this whole thing just sucks. I hate school.

Speaking of 16, that is how many Facebook messages I have. Gotta check that, ya know. Got some messages from my DT girls. What up, baby. I cannot believe she tagged me in that picture. Girl, I was not even looking at the camera. Comment time: I can’t believe you put that picture up, you backstabbing devil. See you tomorrow:)

Let’s try the first problem. It’s a proof! Proof, I forgot I needed to proof my new Facebook status profile. How can I come off as clever, funny, and a little bada##? Got it. I am “just chillin with my math homework, can’t wait for the weekend ^..^” That makes no sense. How can I be on Facebook and say as my profile that I am currently doing something else? If I am updating my profile that is always what I am doing at that moment. Whatever. Look an ad. Yes, I am interested in hitchhiking to Israel. I can’t believe that person I am friends with is too.

Dinner time. Good thing I don’t eat on Thursdays. Gotta get ready for HC 10. DT u no.

Phone is ringing. Sweet, I got a text. Luv u ttyl I got me some math hw. Response: we totally embarrassed palms today. ha ha lol rofl madeupacronym. I’ll probs have to finish this convo tomorrow during 5th in the bathroom. Too bad those stupid hand dryers are so loud.

This is unbelievable how much work they give me. It’s nine o’clock and I haven’t even had a chance to start my math homework.

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